Over thirty years ago Michael O'Donoghue, one of the original contributors to The National Lampoon, wrote about a lonely rock which, after surviving weathering and erosion for eons of time, ultimately misses his last chance for recognition the day before Christmas. Citing Le Corbusier's, "Passion can create drama out of inert stone," O'Donoghue incorporated in "The Incredible Thrilling Adventures of the Rock" a delightful mix of tension and black humor, presenting a tale of woe that some say led to Gary Dahl's "pet rock" novelty craze of the mid 1970's. For this symposium, Professor Siegel will recite "The Incredible Thrilling Adventures of the Rock" in theatrical fashion, much as he does every year at the end of his widely attended "GOL105: Earth Science for Non-science Majors" class at Syracuse University. Many years later, hundreds of Siegel's students remember "…the Rock" with affection and a measured sobriety about their future life prospects. Geologists who elect to attend Professor Siegel's recitation will never again collect a rock, mineral or fossil without feeling terribly guilty about all the possible specimens left behind (Do they really want or need this guilt?--after the talk, therapeutic specimens will be provided at no charge for those who seriously need them). "The Incredible Thrilling Adventures of the Rock" has been out of print for over three decades. Siegel gives his presentation in honor of O'Donoghue who sadly died in 1994, thereby joining the subsurface part of the global geochemical cycle.