THE TRUE COST OF AUTHENTICITY: WHY SHOWING UP AS YOUR FULL SELF HAS UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES (Invited Presentation)

The geoscience community has long struggled to increase the representation and participation of historically excluded communities, having fallen especially short in engaging with our queer, disabled, Black, Latine, and Indigenous colleagues in a meaningful and co-productive way. Those of us who have traditionally been seen as outsiders looking in have tried to “take the bull by the horns” by showing up as our whole authentic selves. We hoped that our presence as systemically marginalized individuals now "inside the margins" would model an “if we build it, they will come” solution, welcoming others to feel safe within geoscience spaces. Instead, we have been harshly confronted by the reality of what happens when you show up as your authentic self in places not designed to encompass your full worth. In this talk, I will share my experiences of the unexpected costs of maintaining authenticity within the geosciences, from experiencing burnout to being iced out. I will also draw ties to my academic and professional work as examples of how positive, reciprocal relationships and environments grounded in friendship, mutual care, and trust are the medium where authenticity blooms into its intended fruits.